Interview with Abu Jana: The Best Friend of His Children

This is an interview with Abu Jana. He is one of my really best friends and he is a father of a son and a daughter. As a friend of him, I notice that he has a strong link with his kids. On top of that, I really trust him and I consult him sometimes if I have a problem. So, let's have fun!

Abu Jana with His daughter, Jana:  He is a close friend of his kids. [This photo was taken a couple of months ago in South Africa ]

* Who is Abu Jana- as a father?
The best friend of my children. A powerful, rich and kind friend.

* What is the family in your point of view?
Family is the space where I practice my real life.

* Is there any link between family and society in your opinion?
Of course. this is a very fundamental fact.

Abu Jana with His Son, Tamim :  Sharing happy time with his son in a jungle. [This photo was taken a couple of months ago in South Africa ]

* So, how do you think the family in our society is nowadays?
In our Saudi society, I believe family receives the highest value possible in any society. We have an extremely structured society based on family. It is not only the typical family. It is also the extended family and the tribe.

* How do you keep strong bonds with your children?
By trusting them and by treating them as adults when they are happy and as kids when they are unhappy.

* Reading is important to everyone. So, how do you rear your kids on loving reading?
First, it is important to determine the suitable material for reading. Kids like stories, colorful books and simple language. I never tell my children to read. Just bringing the interesting material is enough to convince them to read. I teach them by example. I read my books in front of them then when I finish, I tell them some stories or interesting facts that I read, in a simple way.

* What is your last word?It is love that teaches you how to deal with your family.

I really enjoyed reading each single word of Abu Jana's answers to the questions I sent him by email. For me, he has a great experience that I can always trust. 

What about you? Do you agree with Abu Jana in all his answers? Do you have a different point of view? Please let us know!

My Family in the Future

Dream AND Plan: It is good idea to dream and PLAN for your future. [ picture source]

Have you ever imagined how your family may look like in the future? Do you plan for your family's future? In this entry, I will imagine how every member of my "little" family may look like after 30 years. It is said that "if you dream, your dreams may come true". And I say that "dream and plan, and your dreams will mostly come true".


My Wife, Naseebah:
She is now Dr. Naseebah. She has a PhD in business administration and she works as a Professor in Jazan University. She has authored five different books on administration and two books on rearing children. She manages her own firm and she also helps her father managing his business.


Me, Ayman:
I'm a professor in Jazan University. I established a Biomedical Engineering Department in the university twenty years ago. I authored six books on biomedical engineering and I have more than 20 patents. I am a Visiting Professor at Northwestern University. I established different scientific clubs in Saudi Arabia.


My Son, Majed:
He has just got his PhD three years ago. He is a Mathematics major with a minor in Engineering. He is married and he has a son and a daughter. He works as a researcher in King Abdullah University of Science and Technology. His dissertation was chosen as the best paper in Mathematics in the year of his post graduation.

I will try to be a good Grandpa: I will read for my grandsons and granddaughters and I will tell stories for them . [ picture source: colorir desenhos]

So, I think it is important to plan and imagine your future. That will definitely help you set your long term goals and motivate you to achieve them.

What about my readers? How do you imagine your self and your family in the future?

Brothers and Sisters: The Hidden Power!

Siblings are like a chain: They support each other and have strong ties between them. [photo by  deviantart.com]

I have six brothers and two sisters. That may be shocking for many people from other cultures. However, that is something that is very acceptable and respected in our culture. I admit that our society has been changing and it has recently started to have different attitudes toward this issue ( I may discuss that later in a different entry). Anyways, I believe that having many brothers and sisters has many advantages and pros. In this entry, I will discuss some of these advantages from my point of view.

Having a sibling is something special. You cannot compare it with just having friends. There is a specific emotional tie between brothers and sisters. Is it genetic? Is it the Sibling Effect?  Whatever it is, I think a good sibling never gives up you when you are in need. He/she shares you your happy moments as well as sad ones. For me, I admire each one of my siblings. If he/she is older than me, I respect her/him and have pieces of advice from him/her. If she/he is younger than me, I show sympathy to him/her and I stand by her/him. On top of that, every now and then we arrange special trips with our parents, wives and children and we have fun together as a group. If someone has some financial or intangible trouble, we all help him/her overcome her/him problem.

Living Together and Attitude: Siblings mostly live their first period of their ages together and hence have many common attitudes toward things. [photo by  birdnerd25]

So, I believe that having brothers and sisters is like having a lot of trusted friends. For me, whenever I feel happy or sad, I let my siblings share me. If I am in need, the first one I ask for help is a sibling.

What about you my darling reader? Do you have siblings? Do you share them their happy and sad moments?

Obeying Parents is a Must in Islam, Christianity, and Judaism

A Muslim Pilgrim Carrying his Mother: It is nothing Mommy compared to what you have done for me. [source: WarsiNews.com] 

As a Muslim living in a mostly Christian society, I am searching for points that both religions have in common especially that concern family. I found that  honoring your parents is not just a moral thing you should do if you like and ignore it id you don't. Rather, it is an obligation in the three religions: Islam, Christianity, and Judaism .  In this entry I will write about parents from religious points of view. 

What the Holy Quran Says about Parents: 

Respecting parents is a very important issue in Islam. So, Allah always states that we must respect and honor  our parents unless they require us to disobey him. The following are some verses in the Quran that illustrate this issue:




1- Chapter: 46 , Verse: 15

and we have enjoined on man doing of good to his parents; with trouble did his mother bear him and with trouble did she bring him forth; and the bearing of him and the weaning of him was thirty months; until when he attains his maturity and reaches forty years, he says: my lord! grant me that i may give thanks for thy favor which thou hast bestowed on me and on my parents, and that i may do good which pleases thee and do good to me in respect of my offspring; surely i turn to thee, and surely i am of those who submit


2- Chapter: 31 , Verse: 14

and we have enjoined man in respect of his parents-- his mother bears him with faintings upon faintings and his weaning takes two years-- saying: be grateful to me and to both your parents; to me is the eventual coming

3- Chapter: 29 , Verse: 8

and we have enjoined on man goodness to his parents, and if they contend with you that you should associate (others) with me, of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them, to me is your return, so i will inform you of what you did


More verses are mentioned here.

The Youngest Son's Farewell : Sympathetic moments. [paint by: Adolph Tidemand]

What the Bible Says about Parents: 

I made a quick search on the Internet and I found that there are more than 40 verses in the Bibles talking about the importance of obeying and honoring parents. They all tell us we must show respect and humility to parents. Here are some examples of those verses:

Colossians 3:20 ESV / 299 helpful votes

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

Exodus 20:12 ESV / 241 helpful votes

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

Proverbs 20:20 ESV / 198 helpful votes

If one curses his father or his mother, his lamp will be put out in utter darkness.

Proverbs 23:22 ESV / 163 helpful votes

Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.

More verses are mentioned here.


So, Islam, Christianity, and Judaism are all concerned about honoring parents. And that's great! They motivate people who are religious to show respect to their parents. So, I will not worry too much if I enroll my child in a school in the US since he is likely going to be taught similar values to our culture's regarding parents.

Well, what about other types of school? I think I will do some research on this topic and I will provide you with answers. Could you please share me some information if you have any?

Missing You Daddy and Mommy!

Daddy and Mommy: Eternal Love that lasts forever. [ photo by Ryan Manville]

I have been in Atlanta for around two months now. I am really missing each one of my family and friends. Although I try to be in touch with them by phone, I feel like I need to set and talk with them face to face.

Here is what I am missing most about Daddy and Mommy:


Daddy:
I am missing you, Daddy, calling me "Abu Majed!- Father of Majed". I'm missing the way you hug Majed and play with him. I really see your great love for Majed in your eyes. What a great grandfather you are daddy! I also miss our walking together to the mosque to pray. What a good Muslim you are daddy! I think you are one of the greatest parents and husbands I have ever seen in my life. How lucky you are Mommy to have a husband like Daddy!


Mommy:
Mommy, you are my spring of love! If I forgot anything, I would not forget how you suffered in order to rear me and my siblings. I wouldn't forget the lovely moments we were spending talking with each other. I am missing having dinner with you! I am indeed proud of you as a mother and as a grandmother. I ask Allah to increase you and Daddy in wisdom and age!



Mommy and Daddy are the most precious thing I have in my life. I will never hesitate to help them if they need any help even if I lose my life for them. What about you my audience? What are you missing about your parents?

One Thing, Two Perspectives

Father and Son: A parent and his/her child mostly have totally different attitudes toward the same thing. [ Photo by Alex]

In this entry, I will list some objects or abstract ideas.Then I will mention how I was thinking about them as a child and how I think about them now. Do you think there will be big differences? Let's see!

Parents

As a child: My parents were responsible for bringing me food and toys. They were in charge of giving me allowance. If I had any problem, I told them.

As a father: I must rear my kids appropriately. In addition to basic needs like food and allowance, I must provide them with emotion and intangible feelings. I have to befriend and play with them. 

Education

As a child: Education was all about reading, writing and doing basic math operations. Education was boring. I preferred to play rather than to attend class.

As a father: Education is one of the most aspects of life. I have to enroll my kids in the best schools that I can afford. In addition, I must follow their education closely and teach them whenever I have time to do so.

Future

As a child: The future would not be different than the present. I thought when I became an adult, I would purchase whatever I wanted and would travel everywhere. I would let my parents stay with me home.

As a father: My family future has to be planned. My wife and I should set prospective goals for our family. We must "lighten" the way for our kids and talk with them about their future.

The Future, Next Exit: Parents must set future goals for their family. [ Photo by backofthenapkin]

Friendship

As a child: I wanted my friends at that time to be my friends at all times. I would sacrifice many family events just to be with them. I trusted every single friend I had.

As a father: My kids should choose their friends carefully since they will be definitely affected by those friends. My wife and I should live in a good neighborhood that has a lot of well educated kids so that we help our children have good friends.

Toys and Games

As a child: Toys and computer games were my favorite stuff. I spent a lot of time playing computer games. If I had no friend to play with, I would run a computer game and enjoy it.

As a father: I will do my best to offer my children toys and games that are enjoyable and beneficial at the same time. My wife and I will share having fun with them . We will set specific times for those games especially video games.

So, I think there is a contrast between my two different points of view. What about you? Do you think your perspective has changed since you became an adult? 

A Picnic with My Family: Short Tips

Family Picnic: "I love to see my family together. That's what life is about. It's about family." by Ja Rule.   [ photo by kalos-eidos-skopein]

Going on a picnic with your family is fun. It also helps strengthen bonds between family members. Here are some tips you should consider before planning for your picnic:


Date and Time:

Date and time are important factors that you should take into consideration when you plan a picnic . You should choose a day that is suitable to all of your family members. For example, you can go on a weekend day. Time is also essential. Going on a picnic at sunset, for instance, may limit the period of time you might spend there unless the place is safe and your family bedtime will not be affected. For me, I prefer to go on night picnics since it is always hot during the day in my hometown. Moreover, you should check weather on that day. Use websites such as the Weather Channel and AccuWeather.com to do so.



Location:

The site of your picnic is also of significance. Is it in a public park, at desert dunes, or at a river bank? Choose the place carefully so that everyone enjoys. I am used to picnicking in my father's farm, which has sand dunes as well as grass. Pay attention to some distracting things such as ants and stingers and dress appropriate clothes. During my last outing to my father's farm, we were "attacked" by a lot of insects .Also, make sure the place is available at that time.



Tools and Games:

There are a number of tools that you may need to carry with you during your outing. Blankets, a basket, and a first aid kit are some of this equipment. You may also bring some board-games and a ball to play with your kids and spouse. My family likes to play Uno and Monopoly. Try not to bring electronic devices as they may work as a social barrier. For me, I put my mobile phone inside my car during my picnics. Always do activities that are based on two persons or more.



Food:
A picnic without food is really incomplete. Bring main dishes as well as dessert or cookies. Water and tea or coffee are also worth bringing. My family prefers Arabic coffee and Green tea. Talk with your family while you have your food. That is really enjoyable.

Picnic Food: Bring different kinds of food and juice. [ photo by su-lin]

For me, I always love going on a picnic. I enjoy each single moment with my family. I try to follow these steps when I plan to picnic. What about you? Could you think of other factors that may contribute to a successful picnic?

How to Get Your Kid to Love Reading: Three Easy Steps

Reading is Brain Food.  Children must know how important reading is. They need to be trained to love reading and making it an everyday habit.  [ photo by Evers' Project 365 Blog]

Reading is important to everyone and especially to children. If you rear a kid on loving reading, he is most likely going to rear his/her kids on the same "habit". Let's discuss three easy steps that may assist you in making your kids enjoy reading!


1) Be a Good Reader!

The first step you need in order to make your kids love reading is being a good reader on your own. You should gain reading and narrative skills so that later on you can teach them how to read and also be an interesting storyteller to them. There are many books ,articles, and videos that help you gain reading skills. Go through them and discuss that with your spouse.

Additionally, being a good role model is essential to your kids as they always try to find someone to look up to and imitate. Show your kids that you love books.


2) Start from the Early Years!

There is no a specific age that you should start reading to your child at. When it is your reading time, let your newborn share you that activity and show her/him that you are reading. This will make them have large vocabulary. In addition, read to your toddler before bed time and let him/her explore the story you are reading to. Reading in different sounds introduces emotion to your kid. Moreover, talk to your kid and ask him/her some questions. Use simple and complex phrases. As your kid grow up, let her/him read to you. That also increases their vocabulary.


Moreover, reading should be neither a punishment nor a reward. It is something that you want your child to practice as a habit. Associating reading with your punishment and reward system may lead your kids to hate it. So, You may set reading hours on a regular basis- daily, every other day or weekly.

Reading is from the Cradle to the Grave.  Parents have to realize the significance of reading in their babies' future life. They have to rear their babies on loving reading while they are just little. [ photo by Jon Mick]

3)  Create a Home Library!

Having a good home library is also significant. In addition to your favorite books, try to choose good books that your children may love. Furthermore, create a suitable place for your kids to read. That helps create a friendly environment that help kids love reading. You may also make use of the electronic books. However, make those e-books a secondary source of reading since using electronic devices may attract them to abandon reading and start playing games.


So, those are three steps that you may use to get your kid to enjoy reading. Just keep on doing them and you will definitely love "the results". It's your turn now. Could you add any step to the ones mentioned?

Photos can Speak up ! (II)

 A picture is a powerful tool to convey ideas. One picture can illustrate many thoughts that may need hundreds of words to describe. In this entry, I describe eight objects/ideas that are related to my life. 

My Computer- Success vs. Failure. This is a photo for the third computer I have. I had the first one when I was 15 and since then I have always been attached to computers. I was obsessed with maintaining computers so I worked in a computer shop to fix broken computers before I enrolled in college. I also worked as a website designer for a couple of years. However, in the last semester of my undergraduate studies I challenged myself to live without my computer although my capstone project, which happened to be in that semester, was completely software-based. . You might ask why did I do so? Well, at that time I was engaged to my wife and I thought that if I couldn't leave my computer for a while I might destroy my new life. I was trying to train myself to have balanced life. Life that has a social part. And I really could succeed. I used the computer labs of my college whenever I needed to work on computers. It was the most successful semester I have ever had in my life with a GPA of 4.0 out of 4.0 . On the other side, I could train myself to have much time with my wife. [ photo by Cookie Baker]

Trees: Be for All. This tree is one of the two trees in front of my homestay family's house. We "knew" each other six weeks ago. I like trees as they are always beneficial to everyone. They give shade and oxygen and beautify the Earth. Don't you think trees are are somehow like mothers?[ photo by Cookie Baker]

Green Tea + Mint = What a Nice Mix! My favorite hot beverage is Green tea with mint. When I have it, I feel relaxed and I enjoy each drop of it. It's a custom of my family to have tea everyday after lunch. Mint Green tea has several benefits for the mouth. According to LiveStrong.com, it prevents some bacteria from developing inside the mouth and helps prevent flu. [ photo by Cookie Baker]









Eyes- The Silent Language.  Eyes can talk in a "voiceless" language. Stealing a glance at eyes of your parents, spouse, or children, you can recognize their mode and identify weather they are happy or sad. Even babies who are just a couple of days old can understand their mothers by looking at their eyes. Blinking eyes fast and eye blocking are also some of the Eye Language's "vocabulary". Refer to this article titled "the Body Language of the Eyes" by Joe Navarro to read more about this topic and remember always to listen to what eyes say ![ a photo of my son Majed by my wife Naseebah]

Shoes and Kids Breeding.  Shoes may express the idea of pairing in life. When I wear my shoes, I sometimes think about the importance of parent's cooperation in bringing up good children. Kids breeding is a responsibility of BOTH parents. [ photo by Cookie Baker]









من جدّ وجد.  This is an old Arabic wisdom. It means that if you work hard, you will definitely succeed. I really believe in this wisdom and always find evidence of what it states in life. [  Handwriting by Riyad El Shadi and photo by Cookie Baker ]

Bed- Read before you Sleep!  This is a photo of the bed I am currently sleeping on. I always put some books close to my bed so that I read before I sleep.  Reading before sleeping may help you have better sleep. You may also read to your kids prior to bedtime as that leads them to love reading. [ photo by Cookie Baker]

Books- A Source of Knowledge!  I'm currently reading three books. One is about the world history, the second is related to my major, biomedical engineering, and the third is about people's revolution. I co-founded a book club in my hometown just two months before I came to Atlanta. I indeed believe in reading and its power in changing people. [photo by Cookie Baker]

So, those eight objects/ideas are of influence to my life. I think that if you pay attention to what is around you,  you will end up having a huge list of things that may be similar or different to mine. Could you mention some of the important things to your life?

Family Photos can Speak up!

Yes, pictures can speak up. It is said that a picture is worth a thousand words. Let some selected photos speak about some of the family members and some important events.






Mother: Number One. Life could be boring without your presence. You are the most important person in my life and almost in everyone's . You are the educator, friend, and the one who really cares. I really miss you Mommy. Thank you for everything Mommy and all mothers! [Photo by Ahmad Zamri ]













Father: No One is Like You. I remember the nostalgic memories my father and I had together. He was taking each chance to learn me something new. If I forgot something, I wouldn't forget the moments we spent together. My great greetings to my father and to each caring father! [ Photo by Kevin Schoenmakers]

Grandparents: Springs Streaming Wisdom and Experience. Although my paternal grandfather died while my father was only an embryo, my maternal grandfather lived until I was 11. Both of my grandmothers are still alive - thanks God! I like the time I spend with them. They tell me tales and give me hints on life. I love you Grandmas! [ photo by monkeyc.net]

Reading With the Family: Nothing is Better. I try my best to schedule a reading session with my small family, my wife, every week. We set together and read from one book and try to discuss what we read. We also try to read some stories to our son and let him explore the book we read. I think this helps us improve our reading habits. [ photo by ashbrian]

Having Dinner Together: the Golden Hour. I think it's important to have dinner with your family. It's a time for discussing what happened in that day and parents can give some pieces of advice. [ photo by  National Cancer Institute]








Although their roles are different, all family members are important. They can share to build a sustainable family that works as a "solid" core for society.

What other factors you think can help build a sustainable family?

Litany ( by Cookie Baker)

You are the cookie and the chips,   

the brown sugar and the milk.   

You are the star in the dark night   

and the flourishing flower of the garden.   

You are the wide place for the people

and the peaceful spot always in bliss.   

However, you are not the fire in the hell,   

the swamps on the earth,   

or the box of matches.   

And you are certainly not the vicious one.   

There is just no way you are the vicious one.   

It might interest you to know,   

speaking of the plentiful imagery of the world,   

that I am the cookie baker and the chef.   

I also happen to be the lovely gardener,   

the table setter standing by the tree,   

and the mining staff collecting a lot of jewels.   

I am also the light in the lakes   

and the book stuffed with the knowledge.   

But don't worry, I am not the cookie and the chips.   

You are still the cookie and the chips.   

You will always be the cookie and the chips,

not to mention brown sugar and—somehow—the milk.

Sorrow...

[ Credit to TechnoSamrat]

Sorrow waits on the streets,

Shaped as fire, colored in red,

Waiting there for miserable souls!